Friday, 1 June 2012

Avoiding the Jubilee

It trundles relentlessly toward us, like the Juggernaut. The Jubilee. We can either submit to its awesome power and add our little mass to its greater mass, or get out of the way and hide.

But where to hide? And how to get out of the way?

If the weather is really bad (unlikely given the royal family's undoubted hotline to God), it would be a simple solution to simply stay indoors and spend the next few days reading, watching DVDs, sleeping and eating, to emerge blinking into the daylight when the worst has passed.

If, as is far more likely, the weather is lovely, this would be unbearable. And in any case, unless you live on a remote island, the whole of which you own and control (remind you of anyone?) , the persistent sounds of merrymaking from the outside world would seep annoyingly through your windows, and make you want to die.

If you want to completely escape, you must first identify somewhere to escape to - otherwise what's the point? Where could you go? A good starting point would be to identify parts of this country that are the least royalist. Trouble is, at least for the duration, there are no parts of the country that are not royalist, it seems.

I had thought of Antarctica, but no. It would be worse there than here, and besides is bloody cold.

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