Sunday, 23 October 2011

Property phrasebook

  • "Deceptively spacious": pokey and insubstantial

  • "A wealth of period features": pokey and shabby; may have glued-on exposed beams, purchased from B&Q

  • "Needs some updating": the whole place is a wreck and may even smell

  • "Internal viewing highly recommended": it's not quite the dump it appears from the outside

  • "Sought-after location": by the police

  • "Cozy": vanishingly small

  • "Manageable garden": a minute patch of grass with a couple of hanging baskets